Monday, May 18, 2009

May 18


May 18
Originally uploaded by Cancer Boy
So I decided to switch it up with the facial hair. I was trying to maximize the skeeze factor, but still not go full-out linebeard. That's just not cool. Anyway, Melissa detests it. Because I'm somewhat of an awful person, and draw pleasure from others' misery, I very much enjoy it.

You know, I think this is the first time my chin has seen the light of day since I was 17 or so.

I'd like to stop having nightmares about cancer. The other night I dreamt lymph nodes in my neck were so swollen, that my throat was threatening to close up. I've been having a bit of trouble breathing -- not sure if it's chemo attacking lungs, or a mild chest cold. That's been leading to lung cancer nightmares. Muscles and joints have been aching. I dream of swollen, blackened limbs. I really wish I could get all this to stop, already.

My teeth hurt. I'm clenching my jaw all the time.

So... uh... life's good, yeah.

11 comments:

imBeth said...

facial art... interesting - quite a change from the first pic in November. I had to look up skeeze in urban dictionary...

nightmares sound awful, I often see it in other people's posts too, weird cancer nightmares.

Hopefully you're feeling better soon!
Beth.

The Cebulas said...

Hoping for a chest cold. Chemo sucks! Yeah, and the hair, it HAS to go now ;)

S. F. Heron said...

I think I might agree with Melissa ;)

I haven't had any cancer dreams. My best guess for the reason is that I don't think about it most of the time. I just do my thing, fill my days with the girls, cats, and mom stuff and put it out of my head.

I do have bizarre dreams, just not about cancer. Now Bill has crazy ones so maybe he's getting them for me by osmosis or something.

I want you to try something but it'll cost money. Not alot but it should help with the fatigue and to boost your immunity. Visit vitacost.com and purchase some New Chapter Every Man vitamins. It's a daily supplement (sized like a horse pill). I've been taking the chick variety for 2 weeks now (as has my Mom) and I feel considerably better. It's all natural, probiotic type vitamins so there's no synthetic vitamins and minerals. These were recommended to me by a nutritionist.

Linky dinky do: http://www.vitacost.com/New-Chapter-Every-Man-s-One-Daily

Hugs Armand. Sorry I've not checked in but you've been on my mind.

-Sharon

Daria said...

I have trouble breathing with chemo too ... my husband says I stop breathing for seconds at a time ... it makes for a very disturbing sleep.

Cancer is stressful ... and sucks.

Holly said...

hey - relax already - might just be the H1T1 virus (AKA Swine Flu)...sounds of ominous organ music in background.....

i got my drains out today...can take a shower tomorrow..maybe i'll shave something while i'm at it@@

Holly said...

oops..my brain is still on vicodin - that would be H1N1...what the hell is T1??

deborah d. lattimore said...

when in the HELL do you finally finish chemo? enough of this already! you've been through way more than your share. and now nightmares too? evil, evil cancer. but i love your new look!

Tori said...

Oh... oh dear. You could be Nick Cave's sleazy protegé ;)

As if your dreams aren't fucked up enough already. Nightmares suck.

Riette said...

urghhhhh. you as well? hope those nightmares back off soon. grrrrrrr. hope the darned chemo also ends soon. enough already!

Corrine said...

Weird dreams suck, but it's just stress; they will go away (eventually I am sure).

I have strange and scary dreams (I even wake up crying) and I can't blame them on anything except that maybe I'm doing some sort of serious hard drug while sleepwalking? lol

I agree with Melissa- the facial hair is uber skeezy and should go STAT. lol.

Armand said...

Beth: I figure, I've only got so much time left that I'm relatively free of responsibility and can look like a fool with no consequences. I might as well play it up :)

Cebulas: I don't know what it was, but it's mostly resolved. As for the facial hair... Never!

Sharon: Thanks! I'll make sure to check them out!

Daria: That sounds awful. I don't so much suffer from apnea or anything of the sort, and it's mostly resolved now, but it mostly just felt like I had steel wool packed into my lungs... Felt heavy and couldn't breathe too well.

Holly: I'm glad you're making progress, as well. As for H1N1, I can't take it seriously. Basically, after cancer, it has to be the black plague to rattle me.

Deborah: Why thank you, kind lady. I'm quite fond of it myself :p

Tori: Yeah, I may or may not have been humming Stagger Lee to myself as I did it :p

Riette: Just another fun "side-effect" to add to the list. Ah well, maybe they'll replace the old school nightmares of, you know, being in school.

Corrine: Try doing some hard drugs while awake. That might balance things out! Also, you say the beard is skeezy like it's a bad thing. I don't get that. :p