Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I got my flu shot today, as per my doctor's instructions. Left arm is already rather sore. Good, good, nice to see life continues to suck...
A number of people have said "It's good you're getting treatment this quickly", but really, it's not that quick. I realize some people have to wait longer than I do, but I had my first tests on October 17. If they figured out that a 23 year old male with classic Hodgkin's symptoms wandered in (and I mean, having lost 30-35 lbs since the start of the year, drenching night sweats, severe weight loss, absolute fatigue, and oh, yeah, a big fucking lump in my neck), and if they had been so thoughtful as to get me in for a biopsy right there and then, I would have been on the path to much speedier recovery. But we can't all have Dr. House to cure us, now do we?
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but there's another symptom of Hodgkin's that I hadn't really been experiencing too badly, until recently. And that is mad fucking itching. It started on the back of my head, but now it's starting around my ankles, as well. It comes all of a sudden, and it itches so bad, it hurts. It's followed by intense scratching, and more pain. Cancer fucking sucks.
Tomorrow I look forward to the distinct pleasure of having a needle jammed into my hip bone, to draw out some marrow. Oh, also, given the spread pattern of my cancer, my survival chances dropped about 10% to 75%. Still good, I suppose, unless you count the fact that one out of four people in my situation die from this.
Funny side-effect of it all. I'm starting to loathe the stupid choices people make. I can't stand people who smoke or damage their bodies with ... just poor choices. I can't possibly describe how much I wish I could wake up from this and be healthy again. I'm going to stop this entry now.