Saturday, November 29, 2008
My mornings are generally pretty good, lately. Regardless of how I've slept (which generally is pretty poorly), I have a fair bit of energy for the first couple of hours. After that, it gets pretty murky, and I don't know what affects it. My diet is pretty constant, as is the number of hours of sleep I get (8-9, plus a nap most days). It's been worse, but days like today, it feels like absolutely nothing can get me moving.
I really miss biking. I need to move, but between the lack of energy and the cold and the ice and the such, I'm really not feeling it. Plus, my hip/ass is still very sore from the biopsy. It doesn't hurt on its own, but getting up/sitting down/turning in bed leads to much discomfort. Probably walking for too long is not a good idea either.
Just over one week until I start chemotherapy. I still don't know how to feel about that. Scared yet excited. It's kinda like the prospect of skydiving, but in this case, the activity in question is likely to extend my life, not shorten it. Or at least I can hope as much... I've still got a ton of unanswered questions, which I won't be able to resolve until the time comes... Will I have a violent reaction to the chemo? Will I need an intravenous line? Will it work? What if it doesn't work? Will I require a different combination of medication?
Gah. There's no way to say it, really, but I really really just want to be healthy again. For some reason, that made me chuckle.