Friday, February 13, 2009

Feb. 12

Feb. 12
Originally uploaded by Cancer Boy

Long day.

I'm starting to have a strange trade-off. When I first got sick, I tried to cling to activities that used to bring me joy. Normality was a source of comfort. Now, mostly because I'm failing pretty horrendously at performing the same tasks in which I took any pride, I've come to feel little more than distress 90% of the time. So, what's new? The gym. That's about it. So I'm spending a lot of time there. I guess that's not bad, though.

Started the day off by going to -- that's right, the gym. Then work. Decided I need to lighten my load. I've got two more projects in the works at my one job. Once I wrap those two up, I'm going on hiatus until I finish this cancer crap. I hope I'll still have a job there once I'm done... I've come to really love the research I've been apart of, and I've come to really love the people I've worked with. But right now, I can't help but feel like my work is a source of disappointment, both to myself, and to my colleagues. Sooo, I'll continue TAing the classes I'm TAing, provided that continues to work, but I'm calling it quits for research, until the summer. I'll spend all my days at the gym, then. Maybe I'll die sexy.

I visited Tori in Guelph, after work. She does a pretty good job of making me feel like an underachiever, what with going to Honduras to build houses, and the such. Oh, the idealism of youth :p

I don't know why, but for the last while, I've really been wanting to buy some face-paint, and drive around town in Joker make-up.

Addendum: In exactly three months, I will have had my last round of chemo. I'm just a few days short of the three month anniversary of my diagnosis. I guess I'm more or less halfway there. The glass is so half empty.


Corrine said...

Half way to being finished! That is something to celebrate!

I went to Honduras to build houses too. It was a blast, I highly recommend it!

Just because you haven't done something yet, doesn't mean you won't: therefore there is no reason to feel like an underachiever!

Plus, you have accomplishments that others don't. For instance, you have WAYYY better grades than I do! So I guess you make ME look like a slacker.

deborah d. lattimore said...

i think it's amazing that you do as much as you do during chemo months. even when you drop the research, you'll still be doing quite a bit! you inspire me.

Tori said...

You ass :P

Yay halfway done!

Be well, monkey. I'll talk to you in two weeks ;)